I've been lurking here for years and finally decided to officially join. I'm out of options and don't know what to do or where to turn. I'll keep it brief.
Single disabled mom of three. Ex found guilty of abuse, finally after 10 years of calls, begging someone, anyone, to do something. No criminal charges and he is appealing. He's also suing me for visitation and this battle has been going on for over two years. Legal aid refuses to help me. It has to do with the county in which we live. In any other county they would take a case like mine, but in this general geographic area, they do not. No one will tell me why, it's just the system. If I lived 70-100 miles east, I could have legal representation. I'm hearing impaired and no one told me I could have an interpreter or anything and so I sat in a bunch of hearings not being able to understand anything. But now when I request service, they usually don't show up.
We need HOUSING!!!! We need to move out of this area. We have no friends or family and no type of support system at all. It's just my children and me leaning on each other. The people in this region are very unfriendly and don't like outsiders even though we've been here 15 years. This place is like the Twilight Zone and I'm not kidding. The house we live in is filled with mold and asbestos and needs a ton of other repairs. Even Section 8 won't complain to the landlord because he'll just evict me rather than make repairs and we have nowhere to go. Rentals are scarce and no one wants to accept Section 8. The house has made me even sicker and is making my children ill too.
Plus it's very expensive to maintain. We have oil heat and hot water. I ran up $250.00 electric bills this year with portable electric heaters to save the oil for hot water. My children and I sleep in one room for the heat and I turn it on twice a day for 10 minutes to keep the pipes from freezing especially upstairs. The temps are still below freezing at night here. Plus my disease hates cold weather and is made worse by it. I have to stay warm but can't. This makes me unable to move and makes my limbs freeze up. Right now we only have a little left and I don't know how we'll survive without hot water. I have special needs children and hot water is a necessity and we need more than a pot boiled on the stove. There are no laundromats and I don't have a car to get there. All of the oil companies want a minimum of 100 gallons delivery which equates to almost all of my SSI check. I have difficulty with stairs which is where the bathroom is so I'm forced to have a potty chair in the living room. Gross, I know. Who lives like this?
We need a car desperately. I've been on FCC for over a year and still haven't gotten one. I was unable to get on there for several months last year because my children and I were in and out of the hospital but I vote several times a week. I used to vote faithfully every day but I know that isn't going to get you a car. No one in my area ever gets a car. There is no public transportation where we live. I have to walk to the grocery store and pharmacy. When you have the health problems that I have, it's not easy to do. There are no sidewalks where I live and since I can't hear, it's very dangerous for me. I've had pneumonia twice since September. I have to go out in all kinds of weather and since I can't carry a lot even with a basket, I have to go every other day. I can't afford to take a taxi and my neighbors won't give me a ride even though I've helped all of them at one time or another. They see me struggling on the side of the road with my bags and they just wave as they ride by. I can't do it anymore. I can't! I tried to get a car loan, not knowing how I would even pay it but I don't meet the minimum income requirements. And I tried several places that specialize in bad credit and bankruptcies! My SSI is meant for one, not four.
We need a car to get out of this house and out of this area. If my ex wins his appeal, they will reinstate visitation and the abuse will start up again. My kids can't go through that again. They have suffered enough at his hands!
We are good people. Kind, friendly, compassionate and caring. We don't deserve what we are going through and I only touched the surface of what our lives are like. There is so much more going on but I am a private person and don't like asking for help. I know there are plenty of others in worse situations than mine. I don't like pity. But I DO need help.
I'm sure I'll edit this later but I wanted to get something out there. I hope that I can help and inspire others. I've been to hell and back several times in my life. I've always had an optimistic outlook and am very spiritual. For the first time in my life, I truly feel hopeless. I am not comfortable with that and with the thoughts that go along with that feeling. Everyone needs hope. Everyone needs something to look forward to. My children and I don't. It scares the hell out of me. I pray and put everything in God's hands. But even my faith is wavering because things have been so bad for so long. It's hard to raise your children as Christians when they have never known kindness, goodness, compassion and love (except from me, of course). In their short lives they've experienced more bad than good. They ask me where the Blessings are. I teach them to have a grateful heart and they do. But then something else bad happens.
On a more practical note, I have contacted every agency I could find locally, have scoured the internet, tried our local churches and any charities to no avail. No one is willing to help us. Not just with a car, but with anything. We use a food pantry and again, I'm grateful, but most of what we receive is expired or is stuff no one would want like canned yams and wasabi sauce.
I'm not unintelligent. I work very hard every day trying to get us out of this situation. I want to try to go back to school to lift us out of poverty but I need a laptop for that. I don't even know if my health would allow me to attend school but I have to try to get my degree! It's the only way. My health certainly won't get better in this house but we need a car to get out. It a chicken or egg thing. Can't get one without the other.
I'm not asking for a hand out. Far from it. I learned long ago that no one is going to give me anything in this life. What I am asking for is information and leads to agencies that might be able to help me as well as information on housing. If anyone knows of available housing on the eastern seaboard, the Carolinas, Virginia, PA, NJ, DE, GA, MD, please let me know. For health reasons my ideal location would be Arizona which isn't possible at this time. I need to get into a warmer climate. Even moving 70 miles east of where I am now would improve my health (as well as getting out of this mold pit).
It's bad enough to have no friends or family but then it is compounded by my lack of transportation. That is why I am reaching out here for help.
Thanks for reading my story. Blessings and prayers for all.
